Thursday, August 27, 2026

Parenting a youth athlete

 


My son is a gymnast, and a competitive one at that. While this topic has nothing to do with a double mastectomy, it's definitely part of my life and a topic that I feel strongly about because there are so many misconceptions about gymnastics and youth sports in general. 

My son ended up in gymnastics because around age 2 he could do monkey bars in a way that didn't feel like he should be able to at age 2. I used to take him to the barn I grew up riding at, and my trainer (whose son was a successful college gymnast) suggested I take him to his son's gymnastics coach, because she runs one of the best boys programs in the country. At that point in time, I didn't know much about men's gymnastics, but Alec did love to climb things and flip, so I figured why not. He was doing soccer, horseback riding, and some hockey (his dad was a hockey player), and I believe in kids trying a lot of things especially when they're young, so I signed him up for the toddler class. Fast forward 10 years and my son is still going strong at it. 

Youth sports is interesting to me. The parent viewpoints (and how vastly they differ), the various options open to kids and the fact that some parents are more competitive than their children which is absolutely wild to me. I don't think kids should feel pressure from parents regarding their sport. I grew up horseback riding, which sounds like I must have had a lot of money and fancy horses, but that couldn't have been more far from the truth. I would get dropped off at the barn and muck stalls and hang out until I worked enough to earn a lesson on whatever school horse was available that day. I worked at a camp with a fancy riding program, mucking the stalls and tacking up horses for the kids who attended the camp, helping with lessons, and at the end of the day (and only on occasion) was I allowed to tack up a horse to ride myself. I did it for the passion of it. The smell of a horse and a barn is still in my top favorite smells in this whole world. Eventually I rode in college (IHSA), and mostly for fun, but only for a year before returning from school to care for my mom who had breast cancer. I returned to riding after she passed away, partly as my own version of therapy, but because I truly enjoy it. I rode until I was 33 and got pregnant with my son. Then my son rode until he was 7, and gymnastics became his passion and other sports took a back seat. 

I share this because I see a lot of parents trying to fit their kid into a sport that might not be their kid's passion. It's like putting a square peg in a round hole. Statistically speaking, very few kids compete sports in college at all. Even less make money from their sport. Someone asked me why I invest so much time and money into my son's gymnastics, when there are very few colleges with men's gymnastics and when male gymnasts aren't making large salaries professionally. It's an easy answer for me, and that answer is "because my son loves it and because the benefit of youth sports is not a promise of a scholarship or a salary someday, but from the priceless benefits they learn as a result of the sport."

The kids who look back on their sport with fond memories are kids who did so because they loved it (and loved the hard work of it, which is really the key) and they are the kids who have parents who didn't pressure them, but instead supported them. I am always happy to support Alec's gymnastics (or anything else he does in his life). Gymnastics, like many sports, requires a large commitment level from the parent and family. In order for Alec to do gymnastics, he trains quite a bit and puts his heart and soul into this sport. He's an active child anyway, and is constantly moving, but to help keep his body as healthy as possible I preventatively have him in pre-hab with PT, he sees a chiropractor for healthy-body alignments, does his strength/conditioning with a trainer who understands youth athletes specific needs, and we prioritize mental health. Alec knows that if there's a day when this isn't his passion anymore, that's okay! But he also knows if this continues to be his passion, I'll be in the stands cheering him on the loudest. What makes me proud of my youth athlete isn't how he performs, it's how he approaches his sport. The things that make me the proudest are hearing how coachable he is, how kind he is, and how the sport helps his discipline and commitment in other parts of his life too. 

Gymnastics gets a bad rap, and I don't know the first thing about girls gymnastics, but I can't say enough wonderful things about men's gymnastics. It's highly under-rated here in the US. 

No matter what sport your child does, I think we can all agree that our goal as parents should be that we want our child to grow up and look back on their sport and have fond memories of how much their parents supported them and didn't put pressure on them. There's enough pressure in sports already, just the internal pressure alone of wanting to succeed at something you love...that's the pressure that should drive them. If you have to pressure them as a parent, maybe they're in the wrong sport all together. 

"Behind every young child who believed in themself, is a parent who believed in them first."

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